A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
