So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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