Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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