Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
everyone is single if you try hard enough
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
