So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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