i think my mom watched the whole time
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
