Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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