Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
