Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
