Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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