Already got asked if we're dating
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize