I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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