I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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