Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
