This girl is more easily done than said...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
This is the high leading the old right now
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Randomize
