At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
