I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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