My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I wear drunk well.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
