so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
