We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
