his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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