OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
