Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
