You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
she looked like the before picture.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
