I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
