There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
