tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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