she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
