i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
