How'd it feel making her break her religion?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
