we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
