They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
