yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
