So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
