I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
