I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
