we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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