Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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