I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
