Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
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