It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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