the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
