I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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