U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
