There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
