I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize