sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
