Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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