i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
