then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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