I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We left the knife in your bed.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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