Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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