Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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