Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
