The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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