Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
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